Avoiding the Rack

I have to admit I'm pretty sick of hearing about the Royal Wedding, even after the fact. I know this event only happens every once in a blue moon, but there's just so much more interesting things in the world to report on rather than someone's boring wedding. However, what I'm not sick of hearing about though is gay marriage. So this is me recognizing that the royal wedding is a significant event that happened this year by fusing it with another marriage event of equal or possibly greater importance that also happened this year: the legalization of gay marriage. As a (fictional) gay man once said "Eat your heart out Kate Middleton!" The british monarchy may not give us a gay royal wedding for years to come but it doesn't mean that we can't kill two birds with one stone this halloween and class it up as Will & Nate or Kate & Jill. Maybe someday gay royals.... maybe someday. Speaking of the royal wedding, another great spinof...

Fallen dictators are all the rage in the news this year. Reporters just simply jumped on them as if they were Perez Hilton when he first discovered celebrities (Squirrel!). If you've been living in a CNN-free world then please let this angry birds video enlighten you on the situation. Angry Birds illustrates the defining characteristic of the dictators (even they gave up on Mubarak). Unrest in the world this year has lead countless revolutions across the globe, causing dictators to flee from fear of wrinkling their suits. The first little piggy is no other than Ben Ali from Tunisia who is only the second president of the country but has kept that position since 1987. Out of all the dictators history has to offer, he is one of the most toned down and doesn't even sport a unique dictator hairstyle or facial hairstyle. Pulling this costume off would mean that you either need to be around a bunch of news junkies or wear a bright and obvious sash. T...

Pregnant ladies around the world can rejoice because this year there is a classy, easy, and enjoyable costume for all the baby mamas: Pregnant Beyonce. What better way to announce it than on NATIONAL TELEVISION. The full outfit. Everyone is more than excited for the pop diva and her husband to have their first child but no one is more excited than the pregnant women who are sick of being Kim Jong Il for Halloween again. See the resemblance? Or even a pregnant Britney Spears... Classy as always. While we're happy for the star studded couple we're really just happy that pregnant women everywhere have an excuse to dress up as a classy lady this Halloween and be a star themselves. How often does that happen really? Most importantly, remember that your costume end up affecting your children later when they see the pregnant pictures. Baby Kim Jong Il approves of the Beyonce costume. What you'll need: A baby bump from any trimester A hand...

Lady Gaga has been especially colorful this year and it reminds of none other than the Power Rangers . So if you have enough fabulous friends to dance the night away with then I would love to see some Gaga Rangers this year. Here are some samples of what I mean: Pink Gaga Ranger Purple Gaga Ranger Green Gaga Ranger Blue Gaga Ranger Red Gaga Ranger Yellow Gaga Ranger   Black Leather Gaga Ranger Evil Three Headed Villain Gaga  With Gaga's repertoire of looks from just this year alone, the possibilities for Gaga Ranger outfits are pretty much endless. Lady Gaga knows this herself and has even capitalized on the idea by selling mass produced Halloween costumes on her website . However Mother Monster herself hasn't produced any 2011 looks for anyone to adorn so stay relevant and rock the most current looks to shy away from the Gaga Halloween crowd this year.   If Lady Gaga isn't enough, there's always the option of going as ...

Epic Meal Time is a YouTube cooking show which comes up with weekly meals that could feed an entire African village. For a year. Garnishing millions of views every week, the Epic Meal Time gang is known for their signature high-calorie, high-vulgar, and high-testosterone video clips. Eat your heart out Paula Dean. If you haven’t heard of Epic Meal Time, the team consists of a bunch of misfits who use their collective efforts to come up with recipes Martha Stewart would have nightmares about. By chicks, he means eggs. Every other episode mainly consists of something like this though: No joke. Given the nonchalant nature of the Epic Meal Time gang, a last-minute costume might go unnoticed during Halloween festivities. Here are some essentials you must have to truly establish yourself as a star of Epic Meal Time. What You’ll Need: A bottle of Jack Daniels (preferably a handle) Bacon (the more, the better) Bacon strips t-shirt Musc...

Never has the bleeding art of ballet been so scary and yet so glamourous than in Black Swan. This year has housed many a horror film, torture porn, and dance flick however nothing seems to stand out as much as this film. No one will recognize you as a character from Step Up 3D or even as the iconic roles from Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula   (yes this is real) as much as the infamous Black Swan. oh hello fabulous For those who don't know, Black Swan is a psychological tale of a young Natalie Portman's spiral into insanity over the lead role in Swan Lake. This self-inflicted mental obsession leads poor Natalie into such shenanigans as drugs, lesbian sex, fists fights with her mom, and eventually... knife fights with her pretend self. All the while she shows off that she is a really awesome dancer so all is forgiven. This movie not only got a lot of buzz (mostly for the girl-on-girl sex scene) but it was also able to do what most movies can't, Black Swan ...

Anonymous, an online civil activist group, has picked up the slack with our favorite borderline albino, Julian Assange (WikiLeaks), dancing away into oblivion. The world just can’t seem to catch a break. Financial troubles, natural disasters, and famine haven’t discriminated amongst the global population. This costume is perfect for anyone who’s discontent with the status quo, but has reservations about committing to a cause they know little about. No introduction needed. The best part of dressing as Anonymous is the ability to bring relevance to costumes/clothes from your earlier years. Hopped on the V for Vendetta bandwagon? Aspired to be Green Man from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia? Looking for an occasion to wear an ill-fitting suit that was bought from you before puberty struck? Anonymous with a 4chan flair Don't be the voice of a silent generation but rather a loud voice in a faceless generation. S...

Jo Calderone provides the best opportunity for “dragception” there has ever been in years. How many people can say they’re a man dressed as a woman dressed as a man? Or even a woman dressed as a man that's actually a woman? It’s enough to make your head spin. So lovely. Lady Gaga is such a iconic modern pop figure that she makes for a brilliant costume every year and every season. Her most talked about outfit (or stage act) this year is none other than Mr. Calderone. Rather than running into the blonde glitzy pop star clone army this halloween, be a pop star in disguise and shine in the niche shadows of those who are in the know about Jo Calderone. Low key glamour is the way to go! This costume is for the ambitious hair-gel owner this halloween. Not only does it require at least a pound of styling products but flair, personality, and little quirks are a must for the role to really come to life. If you're already looking for a Lady Gaga costume, then this is t...

He may not be a very memorable Oscar host but James Franco has already created many memorable characters in his short career and what better year is there to pay an ode to this very odd actor than the year he gets nominated for a plethora (22 to be exact) of awards that have nothing to do with MTV. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? James Franco's boobs. Within Franco's repertoire there's a man that represents a man within all of us. Whether it's the adventurous amputee man, the tattooed hillbilly man, or the pillow-loving man, there's something Franco has done in his career that will match that classy man inside you. My personal favorite  James as our adventurous future amputee! The beauty of James Franco costumes is that they could also be potential couples costumes for all the ladies that want in on the James Franco action. If you're tired of just having a pillow for a date, why not include a Tina Fey to your threesome? Maybe you need ...

If there ever is a time to make your old Hogwarts costume still relevant, it is now. With the last installment of Harry Potter hitting the theaters, wizards and witches are likely to take a backseat to vampires, hobgoblins, were-monkeys, or whatever kids will obsessively spend their parent's money on next.  Before you let your wizard costume collect dust in the back of your costume closet, give it a last hurrah at the height of its popularity. Harry giving his old costume a last hurrah Cedric (or otherwise known as sparkly vampire Edward) recycling his old wizard costume On that note, this year is not only the best time to recycle your old costume but also build a new one. I realize that, of all the years of this Harry Potter craze, I have never seen these guys on Halloween: Oh antagonists, you are so unpopular I know the Death Eaters are a crazy cult that praise a man that basically thinks he's going to be the first half human/half snake President o...

Want to be something truly scary for Halloween? Character don't get any scarier than The Housemaid from the 1960's classic korean thriller about the entanglements of an extremely creepy housemaid and a family that's working way too hard to keep the husband's affair with her under wraps. Yep, that's her sneaking a peek at what her lover is doing with his wife. Luring her lover into bed. Supposedly the movie was so disturbing and the actress was so convincing that movie-goers would passionately yell out "Kill the bitch!" among other obscenities in the theater. Needless to sa y, Lee Eun-Shim never got another acting job due to the graphic nature of this role and how great she was at giving the whole of South Korea the heebie-jeebies. Now I know most girls don't score any points for being creepy or scary on Halloween. Luckily, the 2010 remake of The Housemaid adds another adjective to the character's repertoire: sexy. Oh ...